Extramarital Affairs: It’s not what you think.
A week ago I was blessed to join my husband at a marriage conference. Family Life brought “A Weekend to Remember” to our city. Of course I didn’t look at this so much as something we needed, but as just an excuse to get away from reality for a few days. I knew many friends who have attended this same conference and if my memory serves me, I also attended twenty years ago with my first husband. (Well, that didn’t turn out so good) I messaged my husband and sent him the link. He said, “book it.” So became the daunting trial of finding a babysitter for the weekend, booking the hotel room, budgeting for our “date night” and purchasing tickets.
Friday afternoon came, and of course we were running behind. Dropped off the 4yr with grandpa, packed clothes and headed to the hotel. It was a beautiful room with a king size comfortable bed. Thoughts crossed my mind of just sleeping for a whole weekend, besides we didn’t need to go to the conference, our marriage is wonderful. We didn’t even unpack. Back out into the cold we went. As we found our seats in the grand ballroom of the Hilton, I noticed the age range of over 200 people. From newlyweds through retirement, we were all there to learn. Our workbooks were handed out, and so it began.
During our first evening, Family Life spoke on “Why Marriage Fails.” Extramarital Affairs: An extramarital affair is an escape from reality or a search for fulfillment outside of marriage. Well, I knew this. Did I pay all this money to learn about cheating? We didn’t have this in our marriage, can we move on?
No! Family Life went on to explain that Extramarital Affairs take many different forms:
- Activities Affairs-running to soccer practice, dance class, karate, band, scouts, gym, or football.
- Materialism Affair-buying more shoes, clothes, art, books, tools, music, cars, or a house.
- Career Affair-overtime, business trips, luncheons, meetings, or volunteering for projects.
- Family Affair-children come first, pets come first, or your own parents (in-laws) come first.
- Fantasy Affair-pornography, 900 numbers, Tinder, Ashley Madison accounts, or prostitution.
- Love Affair-mistress, old high school flame, co-worker, neighbor, or close friend.
You see, we are seduced by our culture into believing that we deserve complete fulfillment and perfect happiness. (workbook) This caught my attention. What i realized in my marriage, was we did need this conference. We were allowing multiple affairs to take place within our family. Myself alone am guilty of the Activities Affair and Career Affair. Many times I’m not aware of the needs within my home. I live with some non-communicators, which makes it difficult for me to be mindful of my affairs. I employ you, please bring to light these possible threats and correct them. If this correction does not take place, your marriage will ultimately end up in isolation.
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