Lover’s Day

Open-Marriage

April 23rd was “Lovers Day”.  I saw Happy Lovers Day everywhere.  But what if we didn’t need another person to celebrate this minuscule copy of Valentine’s Day? What if for one moment, we understood Lover’s Day was to love everyone?  Sure there are couples, boy meets girl, girl meets girl, boy meets girl, and what if we all loved each other and that was enough?

Putting aside the sex part, loving one another has to be a prime goal of today’s society to ensure our survival. When we turn on the news it seems they report an increase of killings, war, and hatefulness. When we try to raise our children, we are faced with bullying and suicide. When it comes to our marriage we encounter infidelity, physical and mental abuse, rape, and even neglect. Even our “go to” places like church are filled with many judgmental and hypocritical parishioners.  Think for a moment if we ended the “Love Labels” and just loved each other.

Expectations in our lives will ruin us. There is such an increase in what we expect from our “labeled lover’s” that there is no way one person can be everything to another person.  Our expectations have changed over the last one hundred years. Women in the workforce, roles reverse, labels added, dads staying home, travel, schools, and our unrealistic expectations of fidelity. In 2017 according to the western world, the definition of “cheating” goes way beyond the act of sex. The fact that there is a threat to a relationship constitutes cheating.  A “like” on an ex’s Facebook post, a drunken text, confiding in a coworker of the opposite sex, masturbating to a porn site, even a gaze of a passerby. Any idea that your partners attention is placed somewhere besides with you and only you is an irrational yet real offense for some. But where do these internal offenses’ come from? They come from your need to control. When that is interrupted many of us feel abandonment, fear, or inadequacy. Our “Green Monster” surfaces and we will do anything to regain what we feel is at risk. But what if we embraced the feeling of jealously? What if we actually communicated with our Lovers and discussed these fears we have before they even took hold of our heart and stirred our minds.  We would then truly accept and love one another. The western world is in love with the idea of being in love, yet we refuse to exhibit the unconditional love we so desire ourselves.

krista-mangulsone-53122Not accepting multiple people to love, reminds me of the one of the most repeated lines from the Ghostbusters movie: “…dogs and cats living together — mass hysteria!” (Bill Murray)  Is it truly mass hysteria to share your joy, your ambitions, your passions or your future with more than one lover and everyone involved share your love also? It sure is more appealing than the 53% divorce rate or the 41% of marriages where one or both spouses admit to emotional or physical infidelity in America.

So I employ you, the next time you have the chance to show love, do it. Don’t back down. Make “Lovers Day” everyone’s day.

-Alice

 

Monogamy Myths

Infidelity Stats

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