Note: Spoiler alert and some adult language
Valentine’s Day. Movie, Dinner, and according to Anastasia “Kinky Fuckery”
14 Thoughts I had while watching Fifty Shades Darker this weekend
- Really? It starts out with a horrible nightmare about Christian’s childhood and my excitement just went to depression.
- Ana has a new boss. Interesting. Not bad looking but when he asks her for drinks I can already see where this is going.
- Jose has an art show full of large photographs all of Ana. Like that’s not creepy. And damn Christian looks ruff. Like he hasn’t slept in weeks.
- Ana agrees to go to dinner with Christian because she is hungry. Then she cancels the steak order Christian places and tells the waiter she wants a quinoa salad instead. And so it begins. The amazing independence of Anastasia.
- Christian hands Ana a box with a bow on it. It must be something amazing. A laptop and a phone? Are you kidding me? She needs a cool pair of shoes or a nice jacket not something so cold.
- In comes Leila, the stalker ex-girlfriend. Well, more like a ex-sub. She waits for Ana outside her work, and knows her name. Ana dismisses it like it’s a common occurrence. Strange.
- “I was being romantic and then you go and distract me with your kinky f-ckery.” – Ana. Sigh, there they go again, amazing sex.
- Its Ball time. So many beautiful gowns to choose from. Which one will Ana pick? Of course the sexy silver one that fits just perfect. That’s what he should have put in the box with the bow.
- Ben Wa Balls. If you don’t know how to use these, I suggest you read up.
- Mrs. Robinson. Ana, if you don’t beat her ass, I will! Wait, Ana! You go girl! That’s right, throw the drink in her face and in comes Christian’s mother to finish it with a slap. Woohoo!!
- Oh My Gawd. Christian uses a spreader bar on Ana! Again, If you are unsure about what this is, google it.
- Helicopter crash! No, he’s dead. No he’s alive. Wait, how did he survive that with only a scratch on his head?
- Ana, he asked you to marry him. What is your answer? Geeze.
- And just when you thought it was the end, her boss is plotting. I wonder if Mrs. Robinson will assist in this destruction.
Conclusion: In this movie, Ana finally stands up for herself against Christian. She even brings him to his knees. The roles are now reversed. It’s worth seeing for the sex scenes if not for the script.